


Forgiveness

by mountain_ash



Series: Things I Write on Tumblr dot com [35]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Canon, Angst, Internal Conflict, Scott McCall is a Bad Friend, Season/Series 05, end of Friendship, stiles calls scott out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-22
Updated: 2016-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-16 18:59:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8113804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountain_ash/pseuds/mountain_ash
Summary: Stiles doesn't need Scott's forgiveness. He needs his own, and he realizes that he has it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is obviously not a Sterek fic, but it is a fic nonetheless so it's here! If you like Scott as a character and choose to read this, please abstain from criticizing this work in the comments. Worded more strongly, if you like Scott and only like reading about him in a positive light, don't read this.
> 
> Originally on [tumblr](http://a-mountain-ash.tumblr.com/post/150784484995/i-saw-a-post-by-crossroadswrite-about-how-stiles)!!

Scott didn’t seem able to stop speaking and his words roiled slowly around Stiles’ brain like a slow brewing hurricane. He’d already told Stiles he knew the difference between murder and self-defense. Stiles wished he’d just left it at that. If Scott had left it there, Stiles could pretend his friend really understood what the problem was, but he didn’t.

“Just always thought that if it were to happen, then it should be me.” Scott’s words filled Stiles’ head with cotton, making him feel cloudy and confused. He knew what he did and he knew why he did it. He didn’t need Scott’s forgiveness, he needed his own. “It should’ve been me.”

“It was.” Stiles said quietly, his voice unused to opposing Scott.

The alpha didn’t seem to understand him as he looked over at Stiles with stricken eyes. “What?”

“It was you!” He tried again, and it came out harsh and loud, the first wave of the hurricane crashing into the cliff. “I don’t need your forgiveness because you are the original sinner in this pack Scott.

“Stiles, what are you talking about? I’ve never killed anyone!”

Scott’s capacity for denial had no bounds and a jagged laugh of disbelief erupted from Stiles as his eyes widened manically. His friend was staring at him with something akin to the fear that had been in his eyes the night they fought about Donovan and Stiles knew he must seem very different from himself right now. He had made fun of Scott, fought with him, given him the cold-shoulder, but he had never forcefully challenged his _rightness_. Never before now had he challenged Scott’s perception of himself as a morally perfect human.

“No, you forced Derek to do it for you. You think you haven’t had blood on your hands this whole time because you poured it all over Derek’s instead.”

Stiles thought that would silence Scott, force him to stare down at his bloody hands and think hard about his actions, but it didn’t.

“That was different. Gerard wasn’t innocent. He was going to kill us.”

“I thought we didn’t kill, Scott. I thought what I did to Donovan was only okay because it was self-defense.”

The vitriol in his icy tone seemed to cow Scott. The alpha had pressed himself back as far towards the car door as he could and he watched Stiles timidly. Stiles wasn’t sure what his face looked like, but he was certain it wasn’t an expression his friend had ever seen before.

“W-we do.” Scott stammered finally. “That’s what I did.”

“No. I killed Donovan in self-defense. It was an accident. You plotted Gerard’s murder for days or weeks, I don’t even know, and then used Derek’s body as a weapon against his will. You lied to us. You made us think you were on our side when you were only on your own.”

“Murder.” Scott murmured to himself quietly, as though he couldn’t comprehend the taste of the word on his tongue.

“That’s right, Scott. Murder. You aren’t the morally pure Jesus figure you think you are and I’m not your sinful creation waiting for judgment or forgiveness. I can forgive myself but you aren’t even aware you need forgiving.”

“Stiles!” Scott cried pitifully, his tone beseeching Stiles to take back his bitter accusations.

He wouldn’t though. Stiles knew what he needed to do for himself and the idea brought angry tears to his eyes, so he kept his vision pointed forward. If he looked at Scott while he spoke, he would never find the conviction to finish. Fuck his dad’s words. He wasn’t obligated to forgive anyone.

“We’re going to save Kira and Lydia and get rid of the Dread Doctors and then-” His voice faltered for the first time, and Stiles forced himself to swallow his rising tears. “And then I’m leaving the pack.”

A wounded noise escaped from Scott and Stiles finally looked over to find the alpha staring at him with imploring eyes. “Stiles, you’re my brother.” He says weakly, like he knows it’s not really true. Like it hasn’t been true in a long time.

“Brothers don’t treat each other like you treat me.” Stiles answered finitely. The rest of the ride is silent save for the groaning Jeep and desert wind. It was the loneliest ride Stiles had ever experienced, but his heart felt whole rather than broken. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always appreciated and come visit me on [tumblr](http://a-mountain-ash.tumblr.com/)!


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